"About every true mother there is a sancity of martyrdom-
and when she is no more in the body, her children see her with
the ring of light around her head."

Godey's Lady's Book, 1867

THE ART OF DOMESTIC BLISS a time lacking in certainty and filled with anguish and despair, no woman should be shamefaced in attempting to give back to the world, through her work, a portion of it's lost heart. -Louise Bogan
“And there are my children!
My darling, precious children!
For their sakes I am continually constrained
to seek after an amended, a sanctified life;
what I want them to become
I must become myself”.

~ Elizabeth Prentiss, Stepping Heavenward

Monday, November 8, 2010

Causes of procrastination - fear of failure

Fear of failure is widely regarded as one of the main causes of procrastination. If you have a task to do and you're unsure of your ability to do it, then it's only natural that you'll put if off. You want to protect your own ego, and not have to admit that for whatever reason you can't successfully complete your job.

The trick is to work out the exact reason why you're afraid of failing.

Often, you'll realize that there is some technical reason you don't want to attempt the task - that is, you just don't have the knowledge or skills required to do it. The answer is to be straight up about it with both yourself and others. Either you have to learn the skill to the point where you can do the task (in which case, you'll find that the task becomes rewarding once you are competent at it, rather than a driver for procrastination), or you have to delegate or abandon the task. Don't just leave it! We all know where that leads - a bad place of bad consequences in your life, and just more stress.

Sometimes, there is nothing physically stopping you from doing the task, but the problem is all in your head. What are you afraid of? Perhaps it's looking like a fool if you fail, being embarrassed. Perhaps you don't want to fail for yourself - you feel like you just can't live with yourself if you fail. Perhaps you have a parent, spouse or co-worker who will censure and criticize you if you fail. Regardless, you have to realistically think to yourself, "What's the worst that can happen?" In 99% of cases, the worst case scenario is some hurt feelings - and even that can be alleviated by teaching yourself to be a little more thick skinned. In any case, it's got to be better to have tried and failed than to not have tried at all - think of that enormous stress you have to carry around when you don't even attempt the thing you're procrastinating about in the first place!

The main lesson to take away is that failure is a natural part of life. Just because you fail once at a particular task doesn't mean that you yourself are a failure. The guy who doesn't try at all is the real loser, who doesn't have the courage to at least try once, and lives his life crippled by his fear and doubt. The guy who tries, fails, then picks himself, learns from his mistakes and tries again until he succeeds is the real winner - that takes real guts! But you'll find that the rewards and the boost to your self esteem far outweigh the pain of any purely temporary setbacks.

Procrastination quotes to help you overcome procrastination

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~Don Marquis

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. ~Author Unknown

Every duty which is bidden to wait returns with seven fresh duties at its back. ~Charles Kingsley

The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up. ~Author Unknown

If it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done. ~Author Unknown

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ~Robert Benchley

There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back. ~Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

Monday, November 1, 2010

Anti- Procratination Month

Anti-Procrastination Strategies

This month I will be adding posts to help us all over come procrastination. Hope it helps!

Preparing to get your work done

Here are three things you can do which will help you overcome the inertia of just getting started:

1) Clear the calculator
Motivation expert Brian Tracy talks about “clearing the calculator” before you start. This means taking a moment to clear everything extraneous off your desk, and sitting back in your chair, closing your eyes, and just focusing on the task at hand. Run through the steps you need to take in your mind, focusing on the benefits of completing the task and how great you’re going to feel once you’ve got it off your plate. Get everything out of your mind except for the task at hand. It’s like pressing the “Clear All” button on a calculator - all that messy stuff from the day up until now just slides away, and you’re clear, focused and ready to go.

2) Make a list
If you’re like me, sometimes you just flounder around with no direction when you’re trying to work, doing a little on this thing, a little on something else, and by the end of the day you feel like you’ve got nothing done. The solution is to make and work from a good list. Make a list of all the main jobs you have to do today, or in this work session, then make bullet points of all the subtasks to complete each job. Once you start, you whack through them start to finish, always building on the work you’ve just done and getting everything done in a fraction of the time, with no wasted energy. Your productivity will soar once you start consistently working from a list, and you’ll feel fantastic about the way you’re churning through your to-do list.

3) Prepare everything you need before you start
Before you start, assemble everything you need in one place - all your notes, resource materials, pens and scrap paper, water bottle etc. Make sure your desk is clear and organized, with only the stuff you need laid out exactly where you need it. This means you can just come in, sit down and get started. This one works even better if you do it the night before, and especially well if you write your to-do list the night before too - your brain will be working subconsciously on the list over night, and you’ll find yourself just nailing that to-do list like never before.

Do at least one thing today you have been putting off! Good Luck!

My list today:
1. Make appointments I have been putting off.
2. Catch up on some laundry.
3. Put away Halloween decorations.

An Island of Security....A Mother at Home

Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. In the last analysis, home happiness depends on the wife.
  • Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere.
  • Her hands fashion its beauty.
  • Her heart makes its love.
And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be . . .

the light,
the joy,
the blessing,
the inspiration,
of a home.

The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.

A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of home happiness.

God sends many beautiful things to this world,

many noble gifts;

but no blessing is richer than that which He bestows

in a mother

who has learned love's lessons well,

and has realized something of the meaning

of her sacred calling.

~ J. R. Miller, "Secrets of Happy Home Life, 1894" ~